7.  Having a mammogram four days after surgery is less fun than you think, just saying...

7. Having a mammogram four days after surgery is less fun than you think, just saying...

Thyroidectomy successful.

Voice feeling fine. 

Energy levels increasing thanks to thyroid medication. 

"What a perfect time to have a mammogram to check out the suspicious mass in my right breast" said NO SANE HUMAN EVER! 

But the thing about medical stuff is you can't just wish it away. So in I went to say "hello" once again to the radiology team I had seen only a week or two before. (I've decided I really should figure out what kind of coffee they drink.) 

The thing about mammograms is if you have "dense breast tissue" like me, and 50% of all women, then the procedure can be a less effective diagnostic tool. If a "suspicious mass" is spotted it's often followed up with an ultrasound. Which was on my menu this afternoon. 

The only difference is I had a sexy "lead neck choker" ( see pic) so the radiation wouldn't give me cancer where I just got rid of cancer. I know, fun right?

Both procedures are pretty routine and no more uncomfortable than normally getting your boob squished between two cold plexiglass plates. (Men, I invite you to try this with a testicle, should you be feeling superior in any way.)

I will tell you friends, that when the radiologist comes in to talk about your results personally, and her voice is in that comforting "funeral director" tone, it's not a harbringer of good tidings.

In my case, I won a trip to the needle biopsy lab for more tests...

 

8. Needle biopsies, or when someone treats your tit like a punching bag, just FYI.

8. Needle biopsies, or when someone treats your tit like a punching bag, just FYI.

6. I may no longer have a thyroid, but I have Sex and The City, Bomb Pops, and a VOICE!

6. I may no longer have a thyroid, but I have Sex and The City, Bomb Pops, and a VOICE!