6. I may no longer have a thyroid, but I have Sex and The City, Bomb Pops, and a VOICE!

6. I may no longer have a thyroid, but I have Sex and The City, Bomb Pops, and a VOICE!

"It went well, you're going to have some bruising around your neck but it will go away" is the first thing I hear as I slowly drift out of the anesthesia in the recovery room.

My eyes flutter open and I see the surgical team standing in front of me. 

"That's okay" I say groggily. "I'll just tell everyone that Collin likes his sex rough. It's a Mennonite thing."

Their eyes crack as I can see them attempting not to laugh. Hell YES!!! My voice is here and it seems fine , and clearly I can make blue jokes. Surgical Success. 

Dr. H. my rock star of a surgeon says " Everything was where it was supposed to be. The scar looks great. It should heal and you won't even see it . I'll be back in to check on you tomorrow morning ."

I fist bump her in happiness as she leaves and drift off again. When I wake up Collin has arrived and he tells me , Dr H said everything went fine and I'd have some bruising .  "Yeah, I know I saw her," I say.  Collin smirks "I know she told me, apparently we made the same joke".

Ah, true love.

"How are you feeling ?" my nurse asks. 

"Starving" I say. I have been there since 6 am and I haven't eaten a thing with exception of some ice chips I guilted a pre-op nurse into giving me because Dr H's first surgery ran long.

"Well we have you on a liquid diet, so we can get you broth ..."

"Do you have popsicles?" I ask because the last time I was in the hospital I was 10 and had my tonsils out and thats what they gave me ( besides my throat hurts from the anesthetic tube).

She smiles "We might, let me check." 

As she leaves the room, I look at Collin, its almost 9 pm and there is a chair fit for a pre-schooler to the side of my bed. "You should go home and get some sleep", I say. 

"No, I'm staying here" He states.

"Babe, it's gonna be super uncomfortable. I'm fine really, go home and get some sleep" I repeat. 

Just then the nurse walks in with the last orange popsicle. 

"Thats all we had", she says handing it to me. I tear the wrapper off and devour it like its brains and I'm one of "The Walking Dead".  

"Are we allowed to bring in food from outside?" I ask remembering how I had smuggled kettle corn into my mom's isolation room.

"Sure"

"Is there a grocery store around here? " I ask. 

"Yup there's one right up the street" She replied.

I turn to Collin and say " Before you leave will you go to the grocery store and get me a box of popsicles? "

"Of Course, what kind?"

"Just normal ones, unless they have Bomb Pops. If they have Bomb Pops, then BOMB POPS!!" Apparently in my family , when we have surgery we revert to wanting food from our childhood. In my mom's case it was bologna and miracle whip sandwiches. For me its the BOMB POP.

So Collin set off, and I still on pain meds blissfully fell out again, only to awaken in the presence of 2 boxes of my beloved Pops and a marathon of Sex & The City on E!

So I sent my husband home and settled in for the evening.

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7.  Having a mammogram four days after surgery is less fun than you think, just saying...

7. Having a mammogram four days after surgery is less fun than you think, just saying...

5. You can slit my throat, but please don't take my voice!

5. You can slit my throat, but please don't take my voice!