12. What better place than a Vegas pool to window shop for a new rack?

12. What better place than a Vegas pool to window shop for a new rack?

"Hi, I'm Ashley," the bikini clad waitress says to me. "I'll be your cabana host today, but you are fine to order from any of the girls. Can I start you off with anything?"

"Yes", I say. "I'll have the skinny margarita and what size breasts do you have?"

Okay, maybe I only asked for the margarita. But now that cancer has determined I need to "upgrade my chassis," I find that I am like a teenage boy crossing over into hardcore puberty,.

I am literally checking out every woman's breasts I see. 

And considering we are in Vegas for my brother and husbands' birthdays, there is an endless amount of boobage on display. 

It has become almost a game between my husband and I. 

"Collin, seven o'clock? " I say.

"Too much like they've been bolted on."

"Steph, corner of the pool?" 

"SOOO Fake , I'm going for an upgrade not a complete porn star overhaul."

The good thing about expanders , which is what I have in the places where the implants will eventually go, is that Dr D will gradually fill them. When they get to be the size I'm jiving with, then we stop. It's a hella better way than blindly guessing. 

Meanwhile, the window-shopping will continue. There aren't a lot of upsides to this cancer stuff, this may be the only one.

 

13. Beware the Post Mastectomy Bra! It ain't no Victoria's Secret.

13. Beware the Post Mastectomy Bra! It ain't no Victoria's Secret.

11. There's a potential for 99 problems ...

11. There's a potential for 99 problems ...